a moment of hopelessness

These days I feel profound emptiness and despair, broken up with times of feeling of use and meaning.

family = despair

I can't help that that is the underlying theme in my life.

I'm trying to just be in the is-ness of being, just being, whatever I feel. Maybe the feelings are meaningless; they change all the time. The good times sure don't last, neither do the really bad ones...it just goes on and on. I suppose sometimes I feel hope in that; right now I feel like its hope-less. Ugh.