creating the possibility of a choice

I am becoming more aware of how quickly I fall into my default 'survivor' mode. That place is one of stoic independence, in which I am strong and can take care of myself, need to take care of myself, don't have any choice but to take care of myself and I won't fail and I won't be beaten down so I will take care of myself even though its so hard I will do it. When I feel left, when anything happens that hints at disconnection I automatically find myself in that place, in that survivor mode. Its like I just snap into it. I'm trying to figure out how to slow down the process so that I have a choice about moving into it or not. I don't know how to do that but I know it would be useful, beneficial to my life and my people.