vacation: unresolved process.

I just got back from vacation with my family.
I could have chosen to go pretty much anywhere.
I (subconsciously) chose a place in Florida that is literally 45 minutes from where my dad lives.
I recently called my dad and broke an 11 month time of no communication with him. We visited him last November; he was nice the first day of our week trip, then ignored us the rest of the time.  It was weird.  The week before I went there, I called and told him that I was so appreciate of him being my father and thanked him for everything he did for me and my sister.  He cried and said it was the best phone call he ever received.  I spoke with him one more time on Thanksgiving, and then he never called or communicated at all.  He told my sister we wrecked his house and were disrespectful and messy (my 2 year old threw popcorn on his tiled kitchen floor and his dogs ate it up).  Again, I felt totally abandoned in my life.  Totally surreal.  People living thir lives in an alternate reality and creating stories to support their fears, which don't have anything to do with the reality of the situation.  This last year has been tinged with the real color of how little connection I have with my father (this is my adoptive father), the only father I've ever known. We're only in communication now because I called him--we had a conversation where I told him I loved him and wasn't mad at him and he told me he didn't call me for that long because he thought I was mad at him--I felt like I was talking to a 10 year old.  I told him even if I was mad at him, that's not a reason to not talk to each other for almost a year.  He totally wrote me and my kids, his grandkids, off for a year because of ....?
I know he's very emotionally limited and immature.  He divorced my mother after 22 years of being married, had an affair (probably one of many), got married to that woman, got divorced, now is on his third marriage.  He never even told me and my sister he got married to the second wife, he only told me he got divorced. 

I didn't need to tell him we were down in Florida, but I felt bad, so I told him.  We saw him and third wife and her kid for half a day.  It was fine, uneventful.  They acted like everything was normal.  Weirdly normal.  That's what its like.  There's this major lapse, major underlying issues that affect everything, and we see him and he just talks about his neighbors and Florida real estate and his dogs.  And his wife asks me if I'm working and he cuts her off and says "no, she's going to school" and they ask about school and I give them a VERY brief synopsis, and its basically meaningless. 
We went to dinner and afterwards he asked if he could come to visit us the next day and sit on the beach with us and I looked at him and smiled and said "maybe" but I was thinking to myself "no way there is no way I am doing that".  I put in my 4 hours, 4 hours I feel he did not deserve but I gave of myself and my family in hopes of something, something, what is that something? Did that something get fulfilled? I dont know, but it wasn't going to happen with another day given up for a hope of something.  So the next morning I emailed him and told him we were planning on riding bikes and not going to the beach and it was good to see him. Totally impersonal.  And for a day I felt fucked up and totally guilty on one hand, and justified on the other.  Completely unresolved.  I know that resolution isn't everything. I'm trained by this culture to look for the resolution, though. 

I'm just breathing and trying to be okay with unresolved process. And an interest to see what happens next.